My daughter was telling me about some grades she got on assignments. I told her how proud I was of her and that she was doing a great job. She said, “ I did it for you Mom.”
As much as it made my heart happy that she was really giving it her all and the results showed I had to ask her.. “How does it make you feel? Are you proud of yourself?”
I looked at her little confused face in the rearview mirror. “Uhh No?? That’s a silly question. How could I be proud of myself? That doesn’t even make sense…”
This was a great reminder of why I love having conversations with her. And one of the main reasons I love that she can come to me for everything. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know and I am here to guide her.
“You most definitely CAN be proud of yourself. You are doing the very best you can and you can feel excited and happy about that. You are doing wonderful things! I do things that I am proud of like taking such good care of you.”
“Mom that is just silly.”
I know that she said it’s silly, but now I know it exists in her mind. The possibility that she CAN be proud of herself and her work. It will come back up in her brain and she will remember our conversation.
A lot of adults don’t think kids actually listen. They do. So take the time to explain and listen to what they have to say.